


A field of flowers in hell

by zanyzoom



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), mostly manga divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-10 12:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10437768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanyzoom/pseuds/zanyzoom
Summary: After the events of Yorknew City, the Troupe is left in a state of confusion and grief. Some members are better at hiding it, pretending to move on, for others, however, moving on is no easy task and for Machi, moving on seems impossible.





	1. Aftermath

A field of flowers in hell 

 

Chapter 1 

They all just stood there, staring at Pakunoda's dead body and trying to process the information she had just given them in the price of her own life and for their sakes. Chrollo won't be coming, Hisoka was a fraud, because of course he was, the Chain user's name, face, and questionable behavior, and those damn brats with their honest eyes and unwavering loyalty.

Shizuku, not fully knowing what just happened, was the first one to move, closing Pakunoda's eyes and confirming her demise, because of course she did. There was no one else in the Troupe with this blunt, brutal honesty. One might say it was almost childish, innocent, That Shizuku was childish and innocent, and if not for the fact that she was a cold blooded murderer like the rest of them, Machi might have even believed this was the case. Shizuku looks up at them, with big questioning eyes, and Phinks explains, because of course he does, his blunt brutal honesty different from hers.

They all act the like you'd expect them to, Hisoka, Shizuku, Phinks, Everybody else, they all act the exact same way. And Machi can't understand that, she can't understand any of it, why it all had to happen. She almost thinks it's not fair, but than she remembers that they're all the previously mentioned cold blooded murderers, and that Karma is a bitch.

She thinks about the Chain User, remembering how she killed his clan for their eyes just a few years prior, and for the first time, she thinks she understands him, why he did all this, why he killed Uvogin, why he had sealed the Danchou's Nen, she understands him, and it scares her to death.

She wants to hate him, and she truly does, for taking away the only thing that kept her grounded, the only person that ever truly loved her, with everything she had. She hates him, she hates Chrollo for getting captured in the first place, she hates Phinks and Feitan for being right, she hates Pakunoda for being so loyal and selfless, for leaving her alone like that, but most of all, she hates herself. She hates herself for letting Paku go alone, for submitting to the Chain user's demands, for her own loyalty to Chrollo, and for her weakness, for being so weak and getting so attached.

from the corner of her eye she can see Shalnark and Nobunaga silently watching her as Phinks explains the situation. She decides she hates them too for pitying her, but then she remembers that they probably felt the same way a just a few days ago, when they learned Uvo died. Wait, no, scratch that. They probably still feel that way, and now all over again since they just lost another precious component. Now she hates them because she doesn't have a valid reason to, because they think they understand how she feels, even if they're right and they do understand.

And suddenly she can't be there anymore, she can't be around people anymore, she hates them, all of them, but not really. she takes one last look at Paku's corpse, probably for the last time, regrets she can't have one last moment alone with her, and storms out of the room.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Restless from the day's events, he decided to leave the hotel room he currently resides in and take a stroll down Yorknew city's dark streets.

Looking back, he should have seen this coming, should have known something like that might happen the moment he told Kurapika about the spiders gathering here all these months ago. Still, he couldn't help but feel disappointed with the way everything turned out. After all, fighting Chrollo was the only reason he had even bothered to join the Spider, and now this goal had to be postponed because some angsty pretty boy wanted revenge.

Well, it wasn't all bad, at least he got to meet some new, powerful toys and have some fun. He smirked, thinking about his favorite one.

He had no doubt they'll meet again some day, weather it was by chance or not. It was inevitable, he loved fighting, and he loved fighting strong opponents even more. And when you're fighting strong opponents you're bound to get hurt, and when you get hurt you need someone to tend your wounds, since they're too severe to take care of them yourself.

And she would do anything for money. Well, almost anything anyway. He wonders if next time they meet she'd be lonely and broken enough to finally accept his invitation to dinner, and maybe even more. Fat chance, but a man can dream right? Besides, he loves a good challenge, and that's exactly what she is. He licks his lips mindlessly as he walks down Yorknew's dark streets, smirking and humming to himself.


	2. Temporary Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Machi was doing a great job keeping her mask on, until that creepy-ass clown showed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm...Manga spoilers in the comments, so if you're not caught up on the manga I suggest not reading them.

When Phinks and Feitan came back with the game console the day after, no one thought much of it until Shalnark mentioned a Nen exorcist, and a spark of hope had been lit, only to be turned off and turn into overwhelming frustration when Feitan, Shizuku, Franklin, Kortopi, Phinks and shalnark came back after being teleported away by a buffy gorilla

Needless to say, this frustration was the last thing Machi needed, and so she found a great way to relieve her stress by hitting Nobunaga over the head when he laughed at them for being beaten so easily by some random bully. In the back of her mind she knew it wasn’t fair, that he was frustrated too, and this was just his way of dealing with it.

Regardless to the business at hand though, he was an idiot, so he must have done something to deserve it. Yup, that was it, and now she can stop feeling guilty about the whole damn thing three days later.

Why she was guilty in the first place, only the son of a bitch that calls himself god knows. The two of them have been partners for years, since the Troupe was founded more or less, and even though they constantly got on each others’s nerves, they also had this weird-ass bond between them. And as much as she hated to admit it, she couldn’t imagine a life where he wasn’t there, driving her nuts with his antics yet making her smile inside.

And it wasn’t just Nobunaga, after Paku died, the rest of the Troupe suddenly looked weird in her eyes, almost like strangers. Almost. The once powerful people all looked so weak now, so vulnerable, so… fleeting? Or maybe it was her, maybe she finally understood what the previous number 8’s death and that creep Omokage’s replacement and to a lesser extent even Uvo’s death couldn’t drill in: They could all die at a moments notice, they could all perish at a blink of an eye, the people she grew to care for could all be snatched away, just like that, just like Paku.

“By the way”

She could hear Phinks’s voice from somewhere in the room they were all in, discussing what their next course of action should be, or something like that, she wasn’t really paying attention.

“I met this kid on my way back here earlier, brat said he knew who I was, powerful kid too, said he wanted to join, you guys wanna meet ‘im?”

THAT got her attention. Phinks was not only complementing random kid he didn’t even know, but apparently the kid not only knew them, but also wanted to join, and Phinks was seriously considering it, must be some damn special kid.

“where is he now?”

Shizuku askes in wonder.

“Told ‘im I’d talk to you guys and bring you to meet him at Bull market in 4 hours. so what do you say?”

“He might be worth a glance at, since you speak so highly of him”

Shalnark says while looking at the others for verification.

“True, however, if we all go out like that we’ll just attracted unwanted attention, so I say we’ll go just you, me, Phinks and Machi and Feitan and make the choice ourselves”

Franklin says wisely, and she knows he’s right, however…

“Why do I have to come?”

“Because if he’s just a kid, seeing someone who could be a potential mother figure might make him feel better”

“Then why not take Shizuku instead”

“Because if we’re going to see if he’s fitting, we need to take someone with a good sense of judgment, and your intuition might come in handy here. Besides, you’re one of the founding members, so it’s only logical to take you.”

“Hey wait a sec, if that’s the case then why is Shalnark coming instead of me?!”

Nobunaga cuts in angrily while pointing an accusing finger towards Franklin, who in turn just sighs and answers him as patiently as possible .

“Because like I said before, we need someone with a good sense of judgement”

“Then why can’t I tag along?! I’m a founding member too!”

Another sigh.

“Because then we’ll be too many. Regardless though, you’d probably scare the poor thing off”

“Then why is Feitan coming?!”

“Because Feitan can at least keep his cool”

“Then why are you coming?! Have you looked at a mirror late-“

“Inner fighting is not allowed! If there’s a dispute, we flip a coin.”

Shizuku, our lord and savior. Machi finds it adorable how the girl seems so oblivious to her own feelings towards the scarred giant, and even though he send her a grateful glance, he seemed just as oblivious. Paku used to say that Franklin was an extremely logical and perceptive person when it came to others, but had no idea what to do about his own feelings. Machi finally understood what she meant by that.

“Fine, then we flip a coin, if it’s heads, then Nobunaga goes, if it’s tails, then I go, sounds good?”

Everybody nods as Shalnark pulls a coin out of his pocket and flips it in the air, everybody watches as he moves his hand off the coin and says

“Tail. then it’s decided, Me, Machi, Feitan and Franklin would go with Phinks to meet the kid”

Nobunaga growls in frustration while she and the others are getting up and heading towards the door, wondering what the kid is going to be like.

———————————————————————————————————————————------------------------------------------  
He’s a lot younger than she had expected, not to mention girly. When Phinks talked about a powerful kid that knew who he was and wanted to join, she imagined someone more like the two brats they captured. Still, she understands what Phinks what talking about when he said the kid was powerful. He has this silent, murderous aura that remindes her the one the white haired kid had when he tried to kill her and release his friend.

“My name is Kalluto, I know who you are and that you need new members. I would like to join”

His voice is monotonous and feminine like his appearance, yet there’s this deadly undertone to way he speaks, and she can’t help but wonder what his life is like, what turned him into this.

“what for?”

He looks up at Franklin and Machi suddenly notices that he isn’t that much shorter than her. Heck, he is almost Feitan’s hight, and there’s no doubt that he had already surpassed Kortopi.

“I want, no, I need to get stronger”

“And you think you can get stronger if you’ll join us”

They didn’t miss the edge of a threat in Feitan’s voice, but he is right, if the kid was truly serious about joining, something like that wouldn’t make him back off. It was a test and they all knew it.

“Yes” was the simple answer.

“oh… Think you can handle us?”

“Yes”

“so what do you think guys, kid has guts right?”

it’s been a while since Phinks was so enthusiastic about something, and taking one look at her comrades faces confirmed to her that they were seriously considering it. And she had to admit, even Phinks had a good idea every once in a while. It was true that they needed new members, and Kalluto seemed more than capable, but a small part of her kept saying that it wasn’t their decision to make, it was Danchou’s and… Wait a second.

“Hey kid”

Everyone turns to look at her in surprise, and she can’t blame them, she has been silent ever since they left the hideout.  
She continues.

“Whatever your power is, can you track people with it?”

Shalnark, being Shalnark, catches on to her train of thoughts first, his eyes lightning up.

“Yes, I can. However, if possible, I would prefer not to reveal it for the time being”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about that. Anyway, welcome to the Phantom Troupe, Kalluto”

 

——————————————————————————————————————————------------------------------------------------

 

And so, Kalluto had joined the Troupe as the new number 4, and with the hope his unknown powers had given them, the group has set to Greed Island once again.

Her and Nobunaga were assigned with Kalluto in tracking down the Nen Exorcist, while the others said they would handle ‘negotiations’. She wasn’t sure what ‘negotiations’ meant, but she had a bad feeling about it. Shortly after they came back after being kicked off, the group got back in the game for a bit. When they came back Phinks said they had found a negotiator who had a message for Chrollo. She did think it was weird, especially when Shalnark refused to tell her who he was, but she didn’t dwell on it much, big mistake.

Now, she has no choice but to see his golden cat-like eyes smiling at her as he asks her what will she do if he kills Chrollo. it wasn’t the question that scared her, she knew he couldn’t kill Chrollo. No, what scares her is how he’s going to react to her answer, and her rush promise to hunt him down to the ends of the earth.

“I like the sound of that”

and it was true. He sees her eyes widening, and can’t help but think this was the first time she reacted to something he said or did with an emotion that wasn’t irritation and annoyance. She was scared.

That, combined with her promise to chase him to where ever he goes, along with the thrill of fighting Chrollo, is enough to make him go crazy, but now was not the time.

he can feel Nobunaga tensing next to him, and the eyes of the boy that was obviously related to Illumi on his back, But none of that matters. He has her attention, he knows she is sensitive right now, that the thought of losing anyone else terrifies her, especially if this someone is her beloved Danchou.

Pakunoda was dead, that was his chance, he will not let her slip through is fingers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter 2. I mentioned in the tags that there's going to be a divergence of the canon at some point, It's not going to be too drastic though.


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phinks is an idiot. but sometimes, maybe it's a good thing.

With the events of Greed island behind them, the Troupe decided to stay in Yorknew for a while in hopes that when Chrollo comes back he’ll know where to find them. Besides,with no orders from him, they had no idea what to to next. And so, they had spent the next week or so in the hideout, with noting to do other than helping Kalluto to adapt. The kid seems to be doing well, getting along with the other members and learning about how they function as a group. Despite it all though, there was this gloomy feeling in the air, with all the uncertainty and boredom.

With the boredom overwhelming them, it was no surprise that they all looked for things to do in an attempt to abate it. In Machi’s case, it was to tend whoever was stupid enough to get seriously injured in a fight, which seemed to be the way most of them had used to pass the time.

Right now she was busy sewing an especially nasty cut in Phinks’s shoulder that was caused by Nobunaga’s sword. She tries to ignore him for the most part, saying it was his fault for fighting Nobunaga.

“Hey, I, um, wanted to, um, ask you something”

“Mmm?”

She doesn’t look up from his shoulder as he awkwardly fumbles and trips over his own words, trying to find the right ones.

“I, um, I mean, how did, um, you and Pakunoda got together?”

She wasn’t expecting that, she looks up from his shoulder in surprise. At first, she’s surprised he even cares, and then she understands.

“Why are you interested, finally decided to put the moves on Feitan?”

She asks with a smirk.

“Not… Exactly… So how did it happen?”

Machi thinks it’s almost cute how he tries to keep up his tough guy act, with his blood stained shoulder and red face. She remembers a younger her, one that used to think that all men are dumb, and the ones that weren’t were barbaric animals. She stopped thinking that way once she Chrollo of course, but growing up in Meteor City does that to you.  
Thinking back, maybe that was the reason she fell in love with Pakunoda in the first place, because she was everything men weren’t.

“Do you remember the party Danchou decided to throw after the Kurta massacre?”

Oh, the irony.

“The one we thought he was wasted out of his ass for throwing?”

“Yes that one”. It’s not like there were other parties though.

“So it happened there?”

“Yes”

“How?”

“We were drunk out of our asses. Ended up in the toilet together. Stuff… Happened. we woke up together the next day, hungover and feeling like shit”  
“And when we found out it was-“

“Around a week after”

‘Found out’ was the nice way to put it. Sure, Phinks and the others ‘found out’ from Nobunaga who was the first one to ‘find out’. Poor guy was looking for her for a mission when he walked in on them in the middle of a make-out session, with Pakunoda’s hands making their way up her shirt and her tongue down her throat.

“You don’t really look like the type who gets drunk though”

“We were young and stupid. Needless to say it didn’t happen again. Hold on, why are you asking me that instead of Shalnark or something?”

“Because you always seemed more… Opened about it and…”

And then it finally clicked.

“For how long?”

He looks up at her questioningly.

“For how long have you guys been together without us knowing?”

“A year, I think, I’m not good with dates. Anyway, how do you think we should tell them? Also, close your mouth, you look like a fish.”

She looks away, embarrassed, she was supposed to be the sassy one, not him.

“I don’t think you should, don’t get me wrong, you need to get it out, but just let your actions do the talking for you, hold hands or some shit, it doesn’t matter, my point is that you shouldn’t make a big deal out of it if you don’t want others to make it a big deal, and since you hid it for a year, I assume you don’t want too much attention”

“You’re probably right. Um, thanks then, for that, and, for healing me”

“You’re welcome, just make sure not to take up a part in a fight you can’t win next time”

It’s only when she gets out of the room that she understands the meaning of what she had just said. ‘You’re welcome’? Since when has she become such a softie?

 

———————————————————————————————————————————------------------------------------------------

 

Their temporary hideout was as poorly decorated as you’d expect. When Danchou had told them they’re going to throw a party to a job well done, everyone had thought he’d hit his head. It wasn’t even such an impressive job either, just killing some villagers for their pretty eyes, no big deal. 

Chrollo, however, thought they needed a break. He had told them this morning, when he announced the party that tonight they can go crazy, but in a different way. Letting Uvo handle the alcohol was probably a good idea though, even if it was going to be just beer, she could live with that.  
Letting Nobunaga, Phinks, and Franklin handle the decorating however, was a terrible idea. Not only that the three of them had no sense in style whatsoever, they also couldn’t stop bickering. The result was just what you’d expect, mostly colorful paper chains hanging from the ceiling and a poor excuse for confetti on the floor. There was a big folding plastic table in the middle of the room, with literal piles of beer and some fast food that Shalnark and Feitan had purchased. Oh, and no tablecloth, cause fuck that shit apparently. 

She and Pakunoda were assigned to finding cloths for everyone, a task Machi thought to be pointless, since the guys, with the exception of Danchou of course, would probably ruin them with food and beer and the fights they would obviously get into. When she told Pakunoda that, the older woman just laughed and smiled fondly, saying that if that’s how Machi thinks men are, then she’s lucky she was born with a vagina. At the time, all Machi could do was laugh, not fully understanding the weight of Pakunoda’s words. She also didn’t understand why Pakunoda has insisted to choose her clothes for her. When she asked why, Pakunoda answered that if she’ll let Machi choose, she would probably just come wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

So here she was, wearing an delicate baby pink dress that reached her knees, and trying to beat Feitan in a drinking contest. Nobunaga had just tapped out, and was now lying unconscious on the floor while Uvogin was drawing on his face.

She didn’t think she’s last much longer against Feitan, but thankfully he abandoned the competition when Phinks and Shalnark called him over to arm wrestle.

Left with nothing to do, she looks around the room to see what the others are doing. Shalnark is shouting something in the corner while Phinks and Feitan arm wrestle. Uvogin is next to her on the floor laughing at Nobunaga who just regained consciousness, Chrollo is talking to Franklin about something, and that creep Omokage just creeps in the corner while sitting on an empty beer box, watching them. Pakunoda is nowhere to be found. 

Sick of the crappy trance music playing from a tape nearby-she can thank Shalnark for that- and starting to feel dizzy from all the beer, she decides to go to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. since their temporary hideout is what she assumes to be an abandoned hotel, the quality of the bathroom really isn’t all that great. She doesn’t complain too much though, since at least there are different bathroom for men and women, not that there are so many women to begin with. The building is old, crumbles, and it smells like shit, so how there’s running water, as cold as they may be, is beyond her, but she’s grateful nonetheless, she’ll definitely need a shower once this is all over.

When she opens the bathroom door she bumps into someone and gets knocked on her ass. A hand stretches out to her. Her eyes follow from the hand to the arm it’s attached to, then to the shoulder, and then the neck, covered in blonde hair, until finally her own blue eyes meet Pakunoda’s brown ones and she asks

“Are you okay?”

She has a hard time finding her words. She’s drunk, her mind is hazy, and her tongue feels thick and heavy in her mouth, so instead of answering, she just takes Pakunoda’s outstretched hand and tries to pull herself up only to trip and send both her and Pakunoda flying to the floor. 

“S…Sorry…”

Again, she has a hard time finding her words, but this time for a completely different reason.  
They’re both lying on the floor, with her on top of Pakunoda. In that position, it suddenly became extremely difficult to ignore the other woman's skin tight, midnight blue, cleavage showing dress. Pakunoda gives her a weird look she can’t understand right now and her drunken mind begins to panic. What if she screwed up and now Paku hates her? She can feel the tears coming and mentally kicks herself. She never cries, NEVER, that was her self imposed rule ever since the Troupe was founded, and now she was about to break that rule, in front of the most perfect person in the world no less. Stupid! Stupid stupid stupid!  


“The dress”

Pakunoda’s voice pulls her out of her destructive thought and she looks at her in confusion. Suddenly, she can feel a hand stroking her cheek, forcing her to look down. Upon seeing her confused look, she continues.

“The dress. It looks good on you”

And with that, Pakunoda pulls her down and kisses her. Hard.

 

—————————————————————————————————————————————--------------------------------------------

 

Machi wakes with a start. It takes her a second to realize where she is and what’s going on. ‘Yorknew’, ‘Hideout’, right… There is no bathroom floor, no hands all over her body, no heavy breathing, no Paku.

She looks around her, everyone else seems to be asleep. She notices how Feitan’s head is on Phinks’s shoulder, happy to see the latter took her advice, and how close Shizuku and Franklin are. Nobunaga looks like a corpse, his limbs everywhere, Bonolenov isn’t much better than him, and Kortopi is in the corner, trying to take up as little space as possible. Kalluto is leaning against a wall, on guard even while sleeping. And despite it all, she can't help but smile.

Then her eyes land on Shalnark, and she can’t help but admire the guy. Ever since Uvo died, he looked so composed, acted so normal. They all lost the same person, yet on the surface, he should have cared the most, and maybe he did but didn’t show it. Instead it was Nobunaga, that cried and screamed and made a fuss. A wave of envy washes over her and she almost laughs. She never, ever thought she’d envy Nobunaga of all people. But here she is, envying her idiotic partner for his ability to express himself. What the hell has gotten into her lately? 

Suddenly, the air in the building is too thick to breath in and she needs to get out. Now. 

For such a busy place, the night air in Yorknew city is surprisingly fresh. She decides to walk around a bit, enjoying the silence.  
She thinks about her dream, a memory, which most likely happened thanks to Phinks’s question. She thinks about Nobunaga, and how easily he can express grief. She thinks about Shalnark, and how he probably hides from the grief behind smiles and calculations.

And for the first time since Paku died, no, for the first time in years, she thinks she might start crying. Here, in some random back ally, where every random stranger can see her, she doesn’t give a shit anymore.

She can feel the tears coming, and then she feels something else. She freezes, forcing down her tears, and turns around to see Hisoka's smiling face.


	4. Conversations and Clowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking a stroll outside was a really, really, bad idea.

"What do you want?!"

She hisses through gritted teeth.

"Now now, there's no need to be so feisty, can't a man take a nightly stroll around town?"

"What. The hell. Do you. What?!"

He sighs. She isn't going to make this easy is she?

"Who? Me? I just thought you'd like an update on Chrollo's condition"

She's adorable. Dropping her guard and abandoning her mask the moment Chrollo's wellbeing comes up.

"Wh...What about about him?"

She curses herself for showing him weakness like that, and then she curses him for putting her in that position. Actually, she just curses him for existing.

"As you probably already know, negotiations were successful. They should have started with the exorcism by now I believe"

"Then why aren't you there? Wouldn't you like to fight him as soon as possible?"

"I thought I would check up on you, see how you're doing"

That's a big load of bullshit and they both know it.

"Why are you really here, Hisoka?"

There's something about the way she says his name that makes him almost lose it. Almost forgetting why he was there in the first place. He moves forward, invading her personal space, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to him. He leans down so their foreheads are touching and whispers 

"Come with me".

All she can do is stare dumbly at his back as he leads her through Yorknew's dark streets. They walk in silence, or more precisely, he is dragging her along in silence. 

With nothing better to do and in an attempt to ease her anxiety, she tries to read his expression. Usually, he's an open book, as open as someone like him can be anyway, but tonight something is different. Tonight, his face is sealed with no shred of emotion. There's no cunning smile, no playful look in his eyes, and not a shred of his trademark creepiness. And honestly, if it wasn't for his ridiculous appearance, she might've mistaken him for a stranger.

"Like what you see?"

She's almost embarrassed over the fact he caught her staring, but at least his stupid fucking grin is back and she almost relaxes, regaining some of her sass back.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Is he... Trying to flirt with her? Right now? His bothersome flirting are nothing new of course, but his timing is awful, not to mention his tact, or lack of.

"You didn't answer my question"

"You didn't answer mine"

"I asked you first"

"Just how old are you?"

He's starting to piss her off, and she tries to break free from his grasp. His grin widens. Up until now she didn’t even try to put up a struggle, and not only it wasn’t any fun that way, it also made him ponder about topics he would have preferred not not dwell on too much.

The whole point of coming back in the first place was so he could have some fun messing with her while he waits for Chrollo to get his Nen back. The plan what to catch her by surprise when she’s alone and outside the hideout, and she was kind enough to make his life a lot easier by going out in the middle of the night like that.

“By the way, may I ask why you were wandering all alone at this godly hour?”

“Why should I tell you?”

Ahh yes, her ever present feistiness, she’s back to her normal self again, much more fun.

“A young woman wandering around shady back allies on her own in the middle of the night like that is very dangerous you know, what would your friends say if they found out about this unhealthy habit of yours?”

‘You’re the most dangerous person for miles here though’, she thinks, but instead she answers

“It’s not a habit and they wouldn’t care. Besides I can take care of myself thank you very much”

Oh he knows that alright, but seeing her getting so railed up over the implications of his words was just too good to skip over.

“Still, wouldn’t it be better if you had a knight in shining armor by your side to protect you?”

“Don’t want one, don’t need one. Where are we going?”

“Tell me why you were out at this hour and I’ll tell you”

“Forget it then. Anyway, why do you care so much?”

“Who knows…?”

He gives her a mysterious smile and she just huffs. That’s a good question though, why does he care so much? Sure, he enjoys teasing her and the reactions he gets are priceless. But other than that? 

“You know…”

He didn’t expect her to speak again, not so soon anyway, and not about something unrelated to where he is taking her. But one look at her face immediately tells him that she’s not there anymore.

“Paku… Paku used to say that this kind of mindless talking is what’s going to get you killed in the end”

“Oh?” 

“And she is…Was… Right you know”

He didn’t miss that little slip up of her tongue right there.

“How so?”

“For starters, You’re annoying”

“You wound me”

She gives him a glare and continues.

“Second of all, that’s basically a one way ticket to hell. You should really be more careful with who you flirt, most people don’t react too kindly to someone flirting with their lover so openly”

“Are you worried about me?”

“No”

“So what you’re basically saying is that I used to piss her off often?”

“You have no idea. Her and the rest of the Troupe, but again, that’s because you’re annoying”

“And what would she do once I pissed her off?”

She stays silent for a few minutes and he swears he can see the tips of her ears reddening, good to know.

“None of your business”

He’s about to reply, but they just so happen to reach their destination.

“We’re here”

She was so absorbed in her thoughts about Paku she didn’t even notice they left the city and are now in some random spot in the Gordeau Desert. She mentally kicks herself for being an idiot and not paying enough attention. They’re all alone here, in this isolated place with no one else around for miles probably. She hates to admit it, but she can’t win in a fight against him, and if he decides to pull something funny now, there isn’t much she could do unfortunately. Not that she wouldn’t struggle though.

“Where are we?”

“Uvogin’s grave”

She looks up at him without even trying to hide her surprise.

“Wh…How?”

“A red eyed customer costumer will visit your shop…”

“That’s your fortune right? What does it have do to with anything right now?”

“I simply asked my red eyed costumer where he had buried Uvogin’s corpse, and once he’d told me the general location it was easy finding his body using En”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“To show you that she got the better end of the deal”

“Wh-“

“She died right in front of you right?"

He doesn't let her finish.

"You had her body right there and you all made a proper grave for her right?”

All she can do is nod slowly, letting his words sink in.

“Why are you doing this for me?”

It’s only then that she notices he hasn’t let go of her wrist yet, but now it’s too late. He pulls her towards him again, only this time for a full on embrace, and she’s just standing there, limp in his arms. He looks down at her, his eyes completely serious again, and when he speaks, his voice is deep and firm, completely serious as well.

“I don’t know”

And with that he leans down and gives her a butterfly kiss on the forehead, Gentle and chased yet firm.

And suddenly, before she even knows what happened, he isn’t there anymore, and she’s standing alone at Gordeau Desert, with only Uvogin’s corpse for company.


	5. Nobunaga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka needs to get his nose out of his ass and start using his brain better.

The first thing that comes to her mind is to surpass the urge to touch her forehead. She’s not some stupid lovestruck schoolgirl with some stupid crush. No, what she is is a stupid filthy bitch. She’s an idiotic, retarded, braindead, bitch that deserves to die horribly, like, right now.

How did she let this happen? How could she have dropped her guard so much, and around him no less? But most importantly, how could she have betrayed Paku like that? She saw it coming, she has no excuses. 

She tries to calm down for a bit by looking over to where Uvo’s grave is. Never mind Hisoka for now, she has more important business to deal with. She needs to tell the others, she needs to bring them here as soon as possible, she owes them that much. But she can’t face them right now, not like that, not when she feels so… Infected.

And that’s the problem. Not only she betrayed Paku by allowing him to kiss her, she betrayed the Spider as a whole. That man sold out Uvogin, and had the nerves to kiss her right in front of his half-assed grave. That man has basically declared war on the Troupe with his wishes to fight and kill Danchou.

She forces down these thoughts for now to focus on the task at hand. Personal feelings aside, she needed to go back to the hideout, she’ll deal with Hisoka when she meets him again, If ever, hopefully not. Yeah right. 

And so she starts walking. There are a few good kilometers between Gordeau Desert and their hideout, and if she’ll run she could get there in 15 minutes, a little more if she’ll walk fast like she did with Hisoka. Instead she chooses walking, trying to delay the inevitable.

It takes her an hour like that, and by the time she reaches the hideout the sun has already started to shine.

The moment her foot touches the ground of the construction site, she gets jumped on by an angry Nobunaga, who grabs her by the shoulders and starts shaking her violently.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!”

She looks behind his screaming face to see the others gathering behind them. Kalluto is hiding behind Phinks’s leg, poor kid.

“Nobunaga! Let go of her!”

Nobunaga growls angrily one last time before doing as Franklin told him and letting go of her shoulders.

“Now then, mind explaining?”

She looks over to Feitan, who, in turn, gives her an even look and rises a black eyebrow, waiting for her to answer. She looks away from him, looking to each of them in the eye, until finally, her eyes land on Shalnark, and she doesn’t take her eyes off of him as she says

“I was… At Uvo’s grave…”

They all react the exact same way she had expected them to, which is mostly by freaking out, but none of them matter, she keeps looking at Shalnark, who just stares at her wide eyed, looking for answers.

And then Nobunaga’s face appear before her again.

“Where?! How?!”

There’s this all too familiar depression in his voice, so much so that she almost loses the courage to answer him.

“I can’t tell you how, but I can take you there. Also, I was thinking, once Danchou comes back, we should hold a proper funeral, for both him, and Paku…”

They all nod with approval, still in shock, and then, before she knows it, Nobunaga hugs her. He buries his face in her shoulder and she can feel his tears soaking through her uwagi. Looking awkwardly over to the others, she can’t find within her the power to push him away, and settles for loosely wrapping her arms around his shoulders in what she hopes is a comforting manner.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Steam rises up as hot water hit the floor. Thinking back, he should have probably taken a cold shower instead.

The bathroom tiles are colored in this ugly shade if Turquoise that makes feel sick, not the mention the room is so small he thinks he's starting to develop claustrophobia. He turns off the water and gets out of the shower.

He sits on the bed and replays the events of the last few hours in his mind.

She didn't know it, but after giving her his little parting gift he didn't actually disappear, but instead used Zetsu and hid behind one of the rocky hills around the area. after that, he'd followed her back to the hideout. Another thing she didn’t know is that they had had a bet going on, she had said that the rest of the Troupe wouldn’t care that she went out in the middle of the night, and that she didn’t need protection, but he wasn’t so sure, saying it would be better if she had protection. And after following her back and seeing how her comrades reacted to her sudden disappearance there was no doubt in his mind that he had won the bet big time.

He’s plan was to reveal his presence to them and declare himself as her night in shining armor. That way, he would kill two birds with one stone. The first one was the opportunity to mess with her some more, because that’s always fun, and the second, the actually important one, it gave him an excuse to hang around the Spiders. He didn’t want to tell her this, but the real reason he came back was because Chrollo did not allow him to stay around. 

He did not, however, expect Nobunaga of all people to be the one who foils his plan. He always mistook him for a fussy scene kid, or, guy, with too much temper and hypocrisy, so while his little breakdown wasn’t completely unexpected, the hug definitely was. While he has no doubt in his mind that the hug was totally platonic and was an act of pure desperation, it definitely seemed like the man was more than willing to put on the shining armor suit for his partner. 

And for the first time, he realizes what a horrible miscalculation he has made by underestimating Nobunaga and by assuming she is the only one who is an emotional wreck right now. They are all hurt, he realizes, some are just better at hiding it. He probably would have thought the same in regards to her if he didn’t know her that well.

But he does know her well, better than he knows the rest of the Spider, and so he can notice the little changes in her here and there, little things she says or does that would look completely normal to most people.

But he’s not most people, and if he may be blunt, in his mind, he knows her better than anyone else, anyone who’s still alive anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about the way this turned out.


	6. Claim your prize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a child's play, really, it's just that the stakes were higher.

Three days later and things are starting to get back to normal. After she took them to see Uvogin's grave, they were all in this frozen state of shock. Because unlike simply knowing it happened, the confirmation that came with witnessing an actual, physical, evidence twisted the knife in the wound they thought was sealed.

After they came back, Nobunaga seemed lost in his own little world, going off on his own and not coming back for hours.

Other than that though, everything was more or less back to normal, and then HE decides to show up and ruin everything. Again.

They can sense his aura long before they actually see him, walking around like the whole fucking place belongs to him.

He ignores their death glares and threatening poses, focusing solely on her.

She's angrier than he thought she'd be, her eyes cold and murderous, and there's a Nen thread stretched between her hand, ready to be wrapped around his throat. 

He keeps advancing towards her until they're standing face to face, or face to shoulder, since she's so short in comparison, a fact that annoys her to no end. 

"I win"

He gives her one of his Cheshire Cat grins.

"Huh?"

Her tone is flat and unimpressed, almost bored, not giving away the fact she has no idea what he is talking about. 

"You said they wouldn't care and you were wrong, so I win"

Is he serious? Knowing him, probably yes. From the corner of her eye she can see the others looking at them suspiciously, and with good reason.

And while the thought of being alone with him is more than a little appalling, talking out this bullshit in front of them is even worse, why they even have to 'talk this out' in the first place is beyond her, but as long as he stays far away from her, she might be able to entertain him for a while, assuming none of the others won't kill him first.

"Come with me"

She turns around and walks out of the room with him in toe, ignoring Feitan who tries to block her way.

They exit the room and she turns to face him.

"What the hell"

"Whatever could you mean?"

"You didn't win shit. It wasn't a bet"

"Oh, but it doesn't change the fact I was right and you were wrong"

"Wait, how do you know that?”

“Because I do”

“That’s not an answer”

“Does it really matter though? The result is still the same”

“And your point is?”

“You made your friends worry, don’t you feel bad about that?”

“Not really”

“why did you hug Nobunaga then?”

A silence falls over them as she lets his words sink in. She stays quiet for a few minutes, replaying their conversation from three days ago in her mind. She remembers him bugging her about the whole going outside alone at night thing and that she answered she can care of herself, and then he told her it would be better if she had a knight in shining armor to protect her and… 

No.

He can’t be serious…

There’s no fucking way he’s serious, right?

“whatever you’re thinking, just stop, okay? I already told you I can take care of myself, Nobunaga knows it too, he was just causing a scene, no big deal, so could you please just go away?”

Did she… Did she just say please? That was probably the first time she has been remotely polite to him, and it takes them both slightly aback. Hisoka, being the first one to get over it, continues.

“Well, since you asked me so nicely, I’ll stop. I still won however, and I want my prize”

Seriously, how old is this guy?!

“It wasn’t a bet, I don’t owe you shit”

“So would you rather I would tell your friends about our date?”

“It wasn’t a date”

He just rises an eyebrow, but she reads the message loud and clear. He doesn’t want to bring up the kiss for some reason, but he doesn’t mind telling the others about it. She sighs loudly.

“Fine. What do you want?”

What does he want? Damn, she asks good questions. Why does he care, what does he want, if he isn’t careful, she might even make him answer them, it’s better to silence her up before he actually starts thinking about it.

Without warning, he leaps forward, using his momentum to push her against the wall behind them, and kisses her forcefully on the lips.

She doesn’t have time to react, she doesn’t have time to do anything, because as soon as their lips touch, the door slams open to reveal Nobunaga, who takes less than a second to understand the situation and charges in their direction, sword in hand.

Hisoka, left with no other choice, separates himself from her and flees the scene.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When he he finds her, she’s sitting on the rooftop, looking down at the city with a distant look in her eyes. He clears his throat in an attempt to grab her attention, and when it doesn’t work, he sits down next to her and lightly touches her shoulder. The only sign she acknowledged his presence he gets is a slight nod of her head.

“Are you okay?”

It’s a stupid question and he knows it, of course she’s not okay damn it!

“Machi”

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Define ‘okay’”

“You know…”

His voice dies down.

“If you mean physically then yeah, I’m fine”

“That’s not what I meant”

“Then what did you mean?”

And that’s where his patience snaps.

“You know damn well what I mean! That bastard friggin’ kissed you! Why didn’t you kick his ass?!”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Huh?!?!”

“Why aren’t you angrier?”

“Wha?!?!”

She signs in that annoying way of herself that always makes him feel stupid because she understands something better than he does.

“Why aren’t you angrier with me?”

That’s probably the stupidest thing she had ever said, and she was the smart one!

“Why the hell should I be angry with you?! What did you do?!”

“Nothing”

“Eh?”

“I did nothing. I let him kiss me and get away with it. Twice.”

“TWICE?!?! when…?”

“When he took me to see Uvo’s grave…”

And that’s where he completely loses it.

“Listen up you! You better clean your ears and listen like you never listened before! You may be a smartass, you may be annoying, you may be annoying because you’re smarter than me, but I still put up with you all with years, and you know why?! Because we’re partners! And my partner is no loser, cause if she was she wouldn’t be my partner! So stop acting like a total wimp and go fry his stupid ass! Get out there and show him why you don’t mess with a taken woman!”

She looks at him, a little bit shocked, before cracking a smile, the most honest, genuine smile she has ever smiled to anyone other then Pakunoda.

“You’re an idiot, did you know that?”

He’s about to spit an angry replay when something hits the back of his head. He turns around, ready to unleash his angry comment at the bastard who did it, and sees Franklin and Feitan standing there, holding a bunch of beer cans, Uvo’s favorite no less. 

Franklin throws Machi a can as well and sits next to him, Feitan takes a sit next to Machi. They open up the cans and Franklin says 

“To the Spider!”

“To the Spider!”

They repeat after him.

They spend the next hour or so just sitting there, drinking beer and watching the sunset, just the four of them, just like old times.

“Reminds you of home, doesn’t it”

Feitan says and gestures with his head towards the city, they all laugh. 

Yorknew is gorgeous that way, from above, with the colors of the sunset washing over it.

“Do you remember a time when we didn’t have each other to constantly piss us off?”

Machi asks. They all think about it for a minute, only to realize they can’t. But they do remember times when they were all alone, completely defenseless against the world and the harsh reality of Meteor City. They think of Chrollo, and how he saved them, they think of Uvogin and Pakunoda, who were saved alongside them, they think of Shalnark, Phinks, Shizuku, Bonolenov, Kortopi, Kalluto, the previous number 8, and even that creep Omokage who were all saved after. 

Nobunaga looks at Machi, the sunset colors doing wonders to bring out the colors of her hair and eyes. 

And maybe he’s gone crazy, but he swears he can hear her whispering a ‘thank you’.


	7. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let me relieve your pain, just for tonight... Just for tonight, let me save you, just this once..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to The Stalk, thank you so much for all your support up until now, hope you like it!

He’s a man who enjoys the simple things in life, really. He acts on pure instinct, giving little to no thought to the consequences. He lives in the moment, savoring it, meeting all of his problems head on. He doesn’t dwell on the past, since it’s irrelevant, nor does he think about the future, dealing with whatever’s in store for him only when he has to. 

So why is it that he wants to return to the past, just for a split second, and relive the moment all over again instead of just enjoying it while it lasted, why does he think of the future, and where to next?

But with his lips still tingling like that and her scent still filling his nostrils, he can make an exception, just this once.

 

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-------------------------

 

They’re lying on the bed in their hotel room, their clothes abandoned on the floor. there’s a silence between them, they don’t need words to communicate. Pakunoda mindlessly draws patterns on her back, Machi doesn’t notice.

“What wrong? You’re quieter than normal” 

Pakunoda’s voice pulls her back to reality, her words have this effect on her.

“It’s nothing, really”

“it’s not nothing. What’s wrong?”

She hesitates for a moment.

“Do you think…That in an alternative world, we could have had a normal life? With a normal job, interacting with normal people, maybe even settle down, have kids…”

“Kids? I thought you hated kids”

“I said an alternative world, besides, if you’d want any, I wouldn’t mind…”

“I can assure you that’s not the case, not right now at least, but if it’s an alternative world, I wouldn’t mind, especially if it’s with you…”

“Who do you think would carry them?”

“Me. You wouldn’t be able to stand the pain of giving birth”

“Shut up. And who would be the father?”

“Danchou”

They both laugh. Machi turns around to face Pakunoda, the latter wrapping her arms around her, Machi tilts her head up so their noses are touching.

“Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with me like that?”

“I can’t think of anybody I would rather spend my life with. Now go to sleep, we have a job to do”

“Fine, but same goes for you, ‘night Paku”

“Goodnight Machi”

 

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————------------------------------

 

A light buzzing sound wakes her up, it takes her a few seconds to realize it’s her phone.

Around her, Kortopi and Franklin are already up, Nobunaga is still asleep, looking like a corpse as usual. 

Phinks, Feitan, Shizuku, Shalnark, Bonolenov and Kalluto left to Meteor City the day before, to exterminate some parasitic ants or whatever. Shizuku has asked her if she wanted to come, and she did, sort of, but she had to decline, saying she needed to exterminate some clowns.

Franklin and Kortopi volunteered say stay in Yorknew, in case Chrollo comes back, and Nobunaga has said something about a job, he’s supposed to leave today.

She takes out her phone and checks the text, paling instantly.

‘Tonight, Heaven’s Arena, 9pm, The usual pay.’

How he has the nerves to ask for her services after everything that’s happened is beyond her, not to mention it’s only been two days, how the hell could he have gotten all the way to Heaven’s Arena and get into a dangerous enough match he’ll need her services in two bloody days?!

But this is the perfect chance, he’ll be wounded and would probably lower his guard, this will be her perfect opportunity to strike. 

She has to leave immediately though, otherwise she would never make it in time. She informs Franklin and asks him to pass the information to Nobunaga before setting out to Ringon Airport.

While on the airship she thinks about her dream, and the memory she had dreamed of. It happened two years ago, and at the time, Machi thought this was the closet either of them would ever come to getting married. She never wanted to get married, but the thought of spending the rest of her life with Pakunoda was more than appealing. If only she had known back then, she would have savored their time together more.

She arrives at the Arena at 20:30pm, half an hour before their arranged meeting time. She should have probably told him she was coming, but that would have required her to talk to him, something she plans to avoid as much as she can.

She waits for him backstage, like she did last time. Fifteen minutes later and he appears before her, a smile on his face and a gashing, bleeding wound in his stomach. 

They walk in silence as she follows him to his room, neither of them trying to make eye contact. 

They enter his room, the same room from all these months ago. Hisoka takes a sit, and takes off his blood stained shirt to give her better access.

She kneels down in front of him, looking at the wound. And what a nasty ass wound this is. His stomach has basically been sliced open, there’s blood everywhere, and she can see a few of his organs, most of them are ripped, that’s first then.

It takes much longer than she’d like, with all the sewing. First, she has to sew the ripped organs back together, a task that would most likely gross out almost every other person, but not her, she wouldn’t be able to call herself a member of the Phantom Troupe if she’ll let a little bit of intestines gross her out. When she’ll finish with his guts, all she’d have left is sew back his stomach, not a big deal.

The thing is, however, this is not what she is supposed to do right now. She was supposed to kill him, and she had plenty of chances, he had left himself completely open. Then why didn’t she? She’s not honorable enough to want to give him a fair fighting chance, right? Unfortunately for her, she’s a woman to her word, and she knows that the conscience she doesn’t have wouldn’t let her live it down if she just killed him off like that, wounded and unguarded. 

But it’s not like he’s completely defenseless either, he can walk around just fine, even with his stomach ripped open and his guts all over the place, most people would have already died from blood loss or something before she even had the chance to touch them.

Then again, he is not most people.

He watches her work her magic, too focused on the task at hand to notice his staring. She hasn’t said anything nor made any eye contact ever since she arrived earlier. It’s not exactly surprising, if anything, he should be happy, it’s just means that the kiss has effected her just as much as it effected him. 

The kiss. 

He wants to feel it again, the sensation of her lips. He wants to actually get a chance to taste them this time around. He wants to get drunk in her scent, that reaches his nostrils ever so slightly. But most of all, he wants it to be from her own free will. He wants her to kiss him back, to feel her arms around his neck, to have her fingers tangled in his hair. 

Why he wants all of that, the reason doesn’t matter. Perhaps her questions are starting to get to him. This needs to stop. Now.

Physical attraction is nothing new to him, and yet…

“I’m done here. 110 million Jenny, now”

110 million? Yup, she’s pissed alright. 

Never mind, time to put back his cocky persona on.

“The money will be transferred to your account, you know the drill”

“Fine, I’ll be on my way then”

She turns around, ready to leave.

“Wait!”

He doesn’t know what mystical power motivates him to grab her by the wrist and pull her to him, an action he seems to be doing a lot as of late.

He looks at her face, trying to get a reaction out of her, but to no avail. 

“What do you want?!”

‘Would you stop asking that?!’

“What’s up with you?”

He’s been meaning to ask her that for a while now. Sure, he knew what was up, but she really isn’t acting like herself, and it’s starting to bug him. She’s too easy, too submissive, her iron will is gone, replaced by a mask instead. 

And yet…

“What?”

“You’re not acting like yourself, what’s up?”

“I should be asking you that, you’re not acting like yourself either”

And it’s true. The playfulness is completely gone, replaced by this quieter, almost subtle, seriousness. 

“Do you really want to know?”

“Knowing you, probably not”

“I’m serious, Machi”

“I know, that’s the problem”

She can’t deal with this Hisoka. She can’t understand him now that he’s all serious and shows genuine concern towards her. Before, it was easy to read him, easier to hate him. But now, everything she thought she knew about him, as little as it may be, is gone. She doesn’t know how to handle him anymore, and it scares her.

The hand that was holding her wrist now snakes around her waist, pulling her against him, while the other hand lifts her chin up, forcing her to look at him.

And for the first time, she sees it. She sees the storm behind his golden eyes, the conflicting emotions, battling for dominance.

And for the first time, without even knowing it, she lets him see her own storm of emotions, hidden behind her ice cold blue eyes. 

He sees all the pain, all the grief she had been trying so hard to hide all this time, and the words escape his mouth before he even knows it.

“Let me relieve your pain, just for tonight… Just for tonight, let me save you, just this once…”

And before either of them knows it, their lips are touching, and Hisoka can almost hear fireworks exploding in the background.

Machi, however, is trying to stop her thoughts that are all over the place.

This doesn’t really count as a betrayal right? If it’s going to be just a one night stand, just a stress reliever? Besides, there are worse choices than him. Sure, he’s a threat to Danchou and the Spiders, but at least he’s not some random stranger, not to mention he isn’t all that bad looking.

And anyway, It’s not like she’s not in love with Pakunoda anymore, so it should be okay right? Just for tonight…

She brings up her arms and wraps them around his neck, pushing herself up and deepening the kiss.

He can feel every curve of her body, with her pressed up against him like that, and it drives him crazy. He licks her lower lip once, twice, trying to gain access.

She parts her lips ever so slightly and he doesn’t waste a second, wanting to taste as much of her as humanly possible.

He kisses rougher than Pakunoda, and just as demanding, with no trace of the gentleness that was in the forehead kiss. 

Has it really been less than a week since then? 

Who knows, who cares…

On the surface, he should be the happiest man alive right now. He’s ego is definitely full and satisfied, but something’s still wrong.

It’s true she’s physically there, but her mind is elsewhere, and he knows exactly where.

He told her he’d relieve her pain for her, but he wants something too, it wouldn’t be fair otherwise.

All these thought are buzzing Between them, but they pay them no mind, focusing entirely on each other instead.

They somehow manage to make their way over to the bed without parting even once, not even for breathing.

He looks down at her, her face is slightly flushed, her breathing is heavy, her ponytail messy, and despite himself, he can’t help but wonder how many times has Pakunoda seen her in this state.

Pakunoda.

The presence of the damned woman needs to disappear, now.

He lowers his face and whispers in her ear

“Promise me”

“Huh?”

“Promise me that at least for tonight, you’re not going to think about her. Promise me that at least for tonight, you’re mine, and mine alone…”

He growls into her ear, biting and nibbling in the process.

Instead of answering, she just kisses him again, hoping for the topic to be forgotten.

When pain and passion collide, all hell breaks loose. but whatever this hell may be, they will deal with it later. Right now, they try to forget everything. This is their moment, everything else can wait.


	8. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say karma's a bitch, but what about timing?

Due to the nature of their work, it was nothing new to them to not see each other for months, sometimes even a year or so. So when Danchou calls them all to assemble, it’s usually means something big. 

This time, the something big is a new member, the new number 4 who defeated that creep Omokage. None of them is exactly sorry he’s gone, that guy was nothing but trouble, always sitting alone, watching them silently.

Still, it leaves a bitter taste in their mouths to know that one of their own was defeated by this cocky clown, who looks down at them from where he stands, His golden, cat-like eyes scanning them.

“From one creepy weirdo to the next”

Feitan whispers to her, and she has to agree. Going by her intuition, this guy is going to be worse than Omokage, much, much, worse.

If only she knew… 

If only she knew…

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

The first thing he notices when he wakes up is that she’s gone. Slowly opening his eyes, he sits up and looks around the room. His blood stained shirt is still next to the chair where he took it off yesterday, and the rest of his clothes are in a messy pile on the floor next to the bed. Any proof that she’s ever been in the room is gone, and if it wasn’t for his own naked body and sewed stomach, he could have mistaken last night’s activities as a dream.

Last night.

The sole reason he came back here and took on that strong opponent was so he could have an excuse to call her there, see how she acts around him, and based on that judge how the kiss had effected her. Everything else just kind of happened.

‘Everything else’ was far beyond anything he could have dreamed of. She was a lot more shy than he thought she’d be, yet still managed to remain sassy, warning him not to try any ‘kinky shit’ as she had so elegantly put it. 

Even thinking of it all now turns him on like crazy. How she breathed, her flushed face, the way she said his name, their intertwined fingers…

Fuck, he need a shower, and a cold one, right now.

On with way to the bathroom, he notices he has a text message, he pays it no mind at first, and then he sees the sender’s name.

Abengane.

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

With her head leaning against the train’s window, she tries to catch some sleep. She fails miserably though, her train of thoughts going crazy.

She made a horrible, horrible mistakes and she knows it. She knew it then too, she just didn’t care, she was hurt and desperate and needed a way out, and he had offered exactly that.

It’s kind of funny now that she thinks about it, that her first experience with a man was with him of all people, but she knows she was right, and there are much worse choices than him. And he wasn’t all that bad either, wait, no, she takes it back, he was really, really good. She ca feel her face heating up. She always thought it was stupid, that the embarrassment was stupid, but Pakunoda had called it cute.

Trying to take her mind off of Pakunoda for the time being, she thinks about her dream. She’s been having them so often as of late that she has already dubbed them as ‘Flashback dreams’.

This time she dreamed about Hisoka, and how they first met. Up until now, they were all about Paku, so what does this mean?

Realizing she’s doing a terrible job at taking her mind off of Paku, she tries to get some sleep again.

She’s about to fall asleep when her phone buzzes, she considers ignoring it, but decides against it, taking out the device and looking at the screen.

It’s a text from Franklin.

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

Half an hour later she meets up with Feitan’s group at a train station and they all take the train back to Yorknew City. 

No one speaks, there’s no need to, they’re all thinking the same thing anyway.

When they reach Yorknew, no one wastes even a second. They dash out of the train, not even bothering to wait for the others. Racing through the city, the reach the hideout in less than 5 minutes.

And there he stands, with all his glory, waiting for them. 

Nobunaga is already there, crying, but they pay him no mind, completely focused on the man who bears St. Peter’s Cross.

They stare at him, he stares back. They’re in this awkward situation when no one knows what do to. Do they hug him? Shake his hand? Greet him? Cry like Nobunaga? give him a high-five? Probably not.

It’s not really a surprise when Phinks steps forward, ‘manly tears’ in his eyes as he says

“Welcome back Danchou. We missed you”

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

Things became easier after that, the ice melted and they gained their senses back. 

Now, they’re all sitting in the hideout, catching up and drinking beer. Since when has beer became their drink to talk over stuff, did Uvo’s ghost took control of their bodies or something?

Uvo.

The laughter dies on her lips and she goes completely silent, remembering their agreement to hold a funeral once Danchou comes back.

And he came back. The only problem is that he came back in the worst possible time.

Can she really do it? Can she really hold a funeral to Paku after she had slept with someone else, just the night before, with Hisoka no less? And beyond that, does she really deserve to sit here with everybody, pretending like everything is fine? Well, now is not the time for hesitation.

“Danchou”

She stands up, gaining his attention. He looks up at her silently, waiting for her to continue. Around them, everyone has gone silent, knowing what she is about to say.

“We were thinking, that once your back, we should hold a funeral, for Uvo and Paku…”

She exchanges a brief glance with Nobunaga, who gives her a worried look. They all wait in silence to hear what Chrollo has to say.

“Very well. We will hold the funeral at midnight. Let’s take the time until then to prepare everything”

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

They’re all standing in front of Uvogin’s grave, they made Pakunoda another one next to it.

They all wear black, the guys are wearing suits, besides Kalluto who wears a kimono, while she and Shizuku are wearing dresses. When was the last time she has gotten into a dress? When Paku made her, on that faithful night.

Chrollo gave a speech, on Paku and Uvogin. Shalnark and Nobunaga gave two separate eulogies on Uvo. And now it’s her turn, to give an eulogy on Pakunoda. She didn’t prepare anything in advance, unlike the rest of them, she couldn’t bring herself to, she’ll just have to say whatever’s on her mind.

“Pakunoda is… Was… My hope. She gave my life color, and helped me see the beauty of the world…”

She keeps talking for who knows how long. This is isn’t what she wants to say, all this sappy crap. But what she really wants to say are things that should never be known the the world. She remembers all of their moments together, she remember the first time they met, she was a scared young teenager who has been picked up by Chrollo, and Pakunoda was a bit older, with more confidence than her. She remembers that night in the bathroom, and everything that happened there. She remembers when the rest found out, how happy they were for them, saying stuff like ‘about time’. She remembers all their little moments, that are their’s and their’s alone. And then she remembers Pakunoda herself, and everything she was.

Was.

The meaning of the word has finally sunk in. Paku is gone, and there’s nothing she can do to change that. 

She thinks of the night she had died, how she had thought she can understand the Chain User, and what he had went through. It scared her back then and it scares her now. 

She isn’t guilty, of course she isn’t, she just understands.

She doesn’t notice the tears until Nobunaga comes and hugs her, his own tears falling. She hugs him back, trying to make the tears go away, but to no avail. 

They stand there for who knows how long, crying silently in each other’s arms, thinking of their loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the OOCness, but it was necessary.


	9. Uncalled-For Parallels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe, just maybe, they're both a lot more similar than they originally thought.

There should be a difference between physical and emotional attraction.

Just like love and lust, emotional and physical attraction have a fine line between them, right?

And the combination of all of these is being in love, or so he have heard.

You shouldn’t care for someone you’re ‘in lust with’, it’s a total contradiction otherwise. If you’re only physically attracted to someone, that should be it right?

Chrollo is back. His time is up, he has to make his choice.

Make his choice?

How could he make a choice if there was never any dilemma to begin with? His desire to fight the man hasn’t died, and probably never will until he beats him. But is killing him still an option?

Stupid question.

Just like Gon, he has to be the one to kill him, he won’t forgive anyone who picks his fruit, he’s a possessive man, he doesn’t like sharing.

Somewhere in his subconscious, he knows he’s simply in denial. He knows that the real reason he is hesitating is because he can’t help but wonder how Chrollo’s death would effect her.

Hesitating, him, who would have thought, and over a girl no less, that’s why he hates being sick, he starts acting weird.

He’s not sick though, he hasn’t been sick in years.

This whole situation is absurd. It was supposed to be just a one night stand, nothing more, just a stress reliever. If anything, it should have helped. He got what he wanted from her, he beat the challenge, did he forget something?

Maybe it was a bad idea, he never had to think so much about something, never thought about the past like that, never focused on the future.

There is always one thing on his mind, his goal, how to get there was always irrelevant, he always figured something out along the way, the details weren’t important as long as he reached his destination in the end. No matter who got hurt.

He tries turning his brain off by focusing on the thrills the fight with Chrollo would surely bring him, but this mind keeps coming back to this troublesome topic, thinking about trivial stuff like how to get Chrollo alone, he can’t just waltz in there again, there’s no way they’d let him get away unharmed again, plus Machi had let it slip that the real reason she came was to kick his ass in Nobunaga’s advice, so it would be weird if he goes in as full of himself as usual and demand his fight with Chrollo after she supposedly taught him a lesson, because someone might make the connection that kicking his ass was the last thing she did that night, and he’s sure both of them really don’t want that, especially not if Nobunaga’s around. 

The thought of using her crosses his mind, but he quickly dismisses it. She would never do something that would go against her beloved Danchou. He could try using seduction, but that wouldn’t work, she wouldn’t let her guard down like that again, especially since she knows about his intentions to fight and kill Chrollo. Actually, she would probably try to keep him as far away as possible.

Maybe he should try calling Illumi, ask what Killua is doing, he could go and have fun messing with him and Gon for a bit, that would make him feel better. Or maybe he could hire the Zoldycks to assassinate the Troupe for him, leaving only Chrollo.

But that would mean she has to die too, he can’t let Illumi know what’s happened.

There he goes again, thinking way to much. if all this would have happened a week ago he wouldn’t have had any problems. 

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

The atmosphere in the hideout has changed yet again with the return of Danchou and the funeral. With the main source of chaos, Uvogin, gone, the atmosphere is much more professional. The only things that stayed the same and Franklin yelling at Nobunaga to lower his voice, and Feitan and Shalnark making fun of Phinks’s stupidity, which is a great way to pass the time in it’s own right. 

After the funeral, Danchou told them that they can leave Yorknew City and that their mission is over. Needless to say, none of them left. Perhaps from the grief and perhaps from the joy of having their Danchou back, no one wanted to be alone. The thought is kind of silly, childish even, the big bad Phantom Troupe are scared of being alone, what would Uvo and Paku say if they saw them?

They would probably laugh, mostly at Phinks and Nobunaga. Uvogin would tease Shalnark on how he can’t go even one moment without him and give him a wet, noisy kiss on the cheek, while Pakunoda would just laugh and take Machi’s hair out of it’s ponytail so she could put her chin on her head because she’s that much taller than Machi and it makes her feel dominant. Machi, angry and embarrassed, would slap her on the arm and tell her to shut up.

Uvogin would also tell Phinks and Feitan to get a room, and then he’ll team up with Pakunoda and together they’ll try making Franklin and Shizuku face their feeling and be less oblivious. Franklin would be annoyed, because he’s a saint who doesn’t get angry apparently, and tell them that at least he’s straight, pissing off both of them along with Machi, Shalnark, Phinks and Feitan, and then a fight would break out. Bonolenov and Nobunaga would probably join, because the heck not, while Kortopi and Kalluto would just try to stay out of it. Shizuku would interrupt after a few minutes, saying inner fighting is not allowed.

And Danchou, he would probably quietly laugh at their antics, keeping an eye on his family of misfits. And if he’s really feeling out of character, he would ask all the bickering couples when’s the wedding, embarrassing the living daylight out of them.

It is surprisingly easy to imagine a life like this, where all they do is sit on their asses and bicker. She suddenly remembers her question from a couple of years ago

“Do you think…That in an alternative world, we could have had a normal life? With a normal job, interacting with normal people?”

She realizes she doesn’t want to interact with normal people, she doesn’t want a normal job, all she wants is a life with Paku and the rest of the Troupe, that’s all.

Preferably a Hisokaless life too if possible, that would make them a lot easier.

Hisoka.

She’s been trying to avoid thinking about him as much as possible, but he, being the smelly asshole he is, refuses to go away. And the worst part is that she knows he probably doesn’t even remember anymore, too busy jerking off to the thought of fighting Danchou.

Fighting Danchou. Shit. She was too busy with her own drama she somehow managed to forget.

This is bad, she needs to do something to make sure the bastard stays as far away as possible.

“And if I kill Chrollo, then what?”

Yup, this is really, really, bad. Back then, she told him she would hunt him down to the ends of the earth and kill him, but can she do that now? If you would have asked her a week ago, she would have answered ‘yes’ without missing a heartbeat, but now she’s not so sure.

Hunting him down wouldn’t be a problem, the downside of being such a showoff is that you stand out too much, the problem was the killing part, after everything that’s happened between them, she feels like she owes him a debt of some sort.

This is stupid, this feeling.

Back to topic, perhaps she can find a way to distract him long enough for Chrollo to escape, the chances are low, but she might be able to figure something out.

Would seduction work? No. Besides, her pride would probably never let her do something like that anyway. She tries to think of something else, but draws a blank.

This is frustrating, not being able to come up with something useful, and didn’t she tell him there’s no way he can kill Chrollo? Why is she so worried then, she has complete faith in Danchou, and there’s no way she’s worried about Hisoka, right?

Or maybe some part of her does care, and that’s why she wants to resolve this without having to kill him.

Stupid fucking Hisoka, for putting her through all this.

Wait, is this why he did that? So he could have her out of his way? Was it all an act then? It sounds like something he’d do. But why wouldn’t he want her to keep her promise assuming he did kill Danchou, he looked thrilled when she told him she’d hunt him down.

If it really was all an act, that would make things much simpler, because then she’ll have a legit excuse to just go and kill him right now.

But something isn’t right here, her intuition tells her it was real, his concern was real. 

She’d be lying if she said the thought he was tricking her hadn’t crossed her mind that night, but her intuition told her that wasn’t the case back then as well.

But if that’s truly the case, what does this all mean then?

What’s her best course of action then? Ignoring him and letting him do as he pleases, which would inevitably get him killed?

And what if he does get killed? How is that her problem? It’s his fault for biting more than he can chew. He’s not a little kid and she’s not his babysitter, he’s a grown-ass man for crying out loud! He can do whatever the hell he wants!

Machi has never thought it would come to this, but she preferred Hisoka when he was whimsical and flashy. This new Hisoka, the one who seems concerned about her, is a pain to deal with, mostly because she doesn’t know if she’s supposed to hate him or not.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Shopping with Shizuku is a weird experience, actually, doing anything with Shizuku is a weird experience. You can’t deny the girl’s an oddball, but there’s something surprisingly soothing about being in her presence, like the air around her is slower, her world advancing in it’s own pace, and everything she does feels so authentic, like she does everything does for her own sake, but not in a selfish way, but in this childish, naive way that just means she doesn’t give a crap about what others say or think.

Machi can’t pretend she understands how someone can be so open about themselves, with no masks on, but she’s grateful for Shizuku’s company nonetheless, she doesn’t think she’d be able to handle being around so many stupid guys otherwise, excluding Danchou of course.

“What are you thinking about?”

Shizuku nudges her shoulder in an attempt to gain her attention.

“Nothing in particular. Why do you ask?”

“Franklin says you have this habit of getting lost in your thoughts, and when that happens you have this look in your eyes. So I was wondering what it is this time”

She ignores the urge to tell Shizuku that Franklin has this habit of sticking his scarred-ass nose where it doesn’t belong, and considers her answer for a bit.

“I was thinking of how lucky I am to have you around, I don’t think I would have been able to keep my sanity for long if everyone around me are a bunch of guys with sponge for brains”

“Would you say that if Paku was still alive too?”

She freezes for a good minute or so and just stares at the girl. It’s true that other then being her girlfriend, Pakunoda has also been her best friend, or at least she would have been if they were using the term ‘friend’ in the Troupe, which they aren’t, because ‘friends’ is a superficial word used by naive high school girls.

Regardless though, that was a dumb question, of course she would have said that even if Paku was alive. Shizuku might be relatively new, but she is just as important to her as Nobunaga is, to her and to everyone else, Shizuku is part of their family.

“Sure, why not?”

That’s a lame answer and she knows it, but she can’t exactly put her feelings into words without revealing how much they all truly mean to her. She can’t do that to Shizuku, this information is too heavy of a burden for her to carry, the only one who knew was Pakunoda, and even that mostly because the woman had unshakable willpower to her. If Machi has iron will, Then Pakunoda had diamond will, if that’s actually a thing.

A light tug of her sleeve gains her attention. She really needs to stop daydreaming in public like that, or she’ll be known as a bigger airhead than the woman beside her. 

“Do you want to stop at a cafe or something before we continue to the next shop? You look like you need coffee”

“Good idea. Lets”

They find a nice looking cafe with empty tables and take their sits. A few minutes later a waiter comes and to take their order, trying miserably to act as if he’s unimpressed by the two beautiful women sitting at the table. Too bad for him that said women already have their hands full with love troubles, it’s just that one of them isn’t even aware of this and the other is away too aware. Oh, and there’s also the tiny fact that they’re mass murderers, but that’s not a big deal right?

The same waiter comes back after a while with their orders, sweating lightly and mumbling something to himself. Machi tries to resist the temptation of cutting off his tongue with her trusty threads, causing havoc here would only bring trouble.

They sit there silently for a few minutes, each of them focused on her own drink, Machi on her coffee and Shizuku on her orange juice.

“I need to use the bathroom. Wait here”

Shizuku exclaims before disappearing inside the building. Machi sits there, waiting five, ten minutes, and No sign of Shizuku. After fifteen minutes or so she’s starting to get really worried, an uneasy feeling setting itself at the pit of her stomach.

Getting up, she heads towards the cafe building, the waiter from earlier tries asking her if she needs something but she just pushes him out of the way, looking for the bathroom with the sense of dread growing within her.

She enters the bathroom and there she finds her, pale as death and unconscious on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it turned out messy. That's what I get for writing at like 2am...


	10. A Field of Chrysanthemums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Machi really hates herself for being so stupid.

Getting Shizuku back to the hideout without attracting attention has been a nightmare. Luckily for her, no one seemed to notice that the girl she was carrying on her back around Yorknew was unconscious, the last thing she needed was someone calling an ambulance.

On her way back she texted Shalnark the situation and told him to prepare something for Shizuku to lay on and tell the others what’s going on as calmly and logically as he can. She also asked him to research what could have happened.

When she gets back she finds Chrollo, Franklin and Nobunaga waiting for her, each of then with worried faces in a rising order.

After laying Shizuku on the blanket Shalnark prepared she explains the chain of events that led up to her finding Shizuku unconscious on the bathroom floor. No one says anything for a while, everyone too lost in thought, until Chrollo finally speaks

“It must have been poisoning”

“Poisoning? How? And why?”

Phinks asks, poor guy looks like he has a headache.

“You said she drunk juice, right Machi? Is it possible someone slipped her something?”

“I don’t think so. I also drunk from that juice and I feel fine”

“Then is it possible she was attacked in the bathroom and had something injected to her? Did you see anyone acting suspicious?”

“No. Sorry”

This is so frustrating, not being able to help. She mentally kicks herself for not paying enough attention, it’s her fault Shizuku is in this state now and she knows it.

“Never mind the circumstances now. We’ll need to take some blood samples to verify the nature of the poison, Shalnark, can I trust you with this?”

“I know what it is”

Everyone turns to look at Kalluto in surprise. The boy has a surprisingly serious look in his eyes, along with some sorrow and… Regret?

“What is it then? Is it really a poison? And if so, what is the cure and where can we get it?”

Poor Franklin, trying so hard to look composed when it’s so clear he’s trying his hardest to stay calm.

“It is a poison, it’s a special drug that was… Developed by my family…It’s supposed to leave the target in a comatose state until given the antidote… Thus making difficult targets easier to kill…If I had to guess what happened, I would say my brother was disguised as one of the costumers, and waited until one of them was alone before making his move…”

“And may I ask, who your brother is?”

Kalluto looks at the floor for a second, before lifting his gaze and meeting Chrollo’s stare head on.

“Illumi”

And then chaos ensures. All around her she hears the same swarm of questions that are buzzing inside her own head.

Illumi? As in Illumi Zoldyck?

What does this mean? Are the Zoldycks after them again?

Is Kalluto a traitor?

The last one leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. Kalluto is one of them now, and the thought he is a traitor is just nonsensical. She’s not naive enough to think that just because someone is one of them automatically rules out the option he has some ulterior motives, Hisoka is a living example of that, but something about Kalluto had told her he is trustworthy, and she had learned a long time ago to always listen to her instincts.

“Everyone calm down, let’s listen to what he has to say”

That’s Danchou for you. His voice, loud and clear even with all the commotion around him, is calm and collected. A silence falls over them.

“But Danchou, he’s part of the Zoldycks! How can we know this isn’t a plan to kill us all like they killed-“

“Nobunaga! Shut your trap for a second and let the kid talk would ya?!”

Phinks cuts him angrily and takes a protective stand next to Kalluto, putting a reassuring hand on his head.

“Just ‘cause his dad was a dick in the past doesn’t mean the kid has anything to do with it! I dunno ‘bout you guys but I’m gonna trust him!”

“Phinks, Nobunaga, that’s enough. Kalluto, please continue”

Phinks and Nobunaga give each other one last angry glare, buy don’t argue with Danchou’s order. Ever since the Chain User incident, the two of them had been on relatively bad terms compare to everyone else.

“Don’t worry, I can assure you I’m not a traitor, I don’t know what my brother or father plan, but I’m in no way a part of it. Regarding the poison, there is a cure, the problem is, it’s an extremely rare type of chrysanthemum that grows in only one place in the world, and as far as I know, only my grandfather, father, and brother know where it is”

“Then can’t you ask them where it is?!”

It takes all of Machi’s will power not to hit her stupid partner over the head, she tries telling herself saving Shizuku comes before setting Nobunaga’s terrible manners straight.

“I can’t do that. If someone hired my brother to Poison her, then my grandfather and father won’t say anything, since it would interfere with my brother’s job. The only thing I do know is that it’s supposed to be a field of chrysanthemum in a clearing”

They’re all silent, waiting to hear Danchou’s verdict.

“Very well then, we’ll split into two groups and try to find the place. Machi, Nobunaga, Phinks and Feitan, you’re the first group. Shalnark, Kalluto, Bonolenov and Kortopi, You’re the second group. Franklin, you will stay here with me”

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

“So, remind me again why Danchou decided to put those two together?”

They are making their way to Zevil Island, their first destination. The only problem is, that to get there they need a boat, and on a boat, it’s a lot harder to just walk up ahead and ignore Nobunaga and Phinks’s back and forth bickering. She and Feitan are standing on the deck, as far away as they can from their bickering partners, that doesn’t help much.

“I think the better question is what you and I did to deserve this” 

She answers Feitan’s question. 

The wind feels really nice at least, she leans on the banister and looks around her. It’s not often that they go sailing for jobs, and if not for the circumstances it would have been a nice change of pace, you know, minus the two screaming idiots.

“Hey, do you think you can sew their lips together so they would at least shut up?”

“I’d like to, but for that I need them to stop talking for at least a second. Can’t you torture them instead or something?”

“Troupe members aren’t supposed to harm one another”

“Isn’t it what they’re doing to us though?”

“I don’t think Danchou would take that excuse very well”

“Goddamnit”

“Look, here’s the island, the nightmare is about to end”

And indeed, there is the island. Machi has never thought it was possible to be this happy to see a land, But here she is, counting down the seconds.

They reach the island and tie the boat to the deck. There are trees all around them.

“Should we split up or something?”

She considers Nobunaga’s question for a moment. Incase they do split up, there are three possible options: One, she goes with Feitan, but then only they would actually do the seeking since Phinks and Nobunaga wouldn’t get shit done. Second, she goes with Nobunaga, but the result will basically be the same, since she can’t actually count on Feitan and Phinks if they’re alone. She can’t blame them, she knows first hand that sex is a luxury in their line of work, but she can’t count on them either. Third option, she goes with Phinks, that might work actually.

“No. It’s best if we stick together”

Seems like Feitan did the same calculations as she and reached the same conclusion, it’s just that he doesn’t want to be alone with Nobunaga.

Fine then, together it is.

They walk in silence, first for an hour, then for two, and then three. the sun has started to set, and they haven’t even checked half of the island.

“I think we should call it a day for now and continue tomorrow”

They just nod, agreeing with her. The last two months or so had mentally exhausted them all and she can’t help but wonder, when is this hell going to end? With their luck, probably never.

They didn’t bring anything with them, so they catch some fish, start a fire, eat the fish, and go to sleep.

 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-------

 

She wakes up with an ominous feeling in her stomach, and looking around her confirms she’s not the only one. Nobunaga and Feitan are already up on their feet, with her and Phinks joining them shortly after. The four of them turn to look at the forest in front of them. She stretches a Nen thread between her hands, Nobunaga draws his sword and Phinks already winds his arm.

A tall figure slowly approaches them from the woods, and Machi swears time slows down as the figure slowly comes into the light of the fire, revealing the man who has hunted her dreams for the past week or so.

“Hisoka…”

Hearing Phinks saying his name confirms her that he’s truly there, and suddenly she just knows that he is responsible for what happened to Shizuku.

Overwhelming guilt immediately washes over her when she realizes, once again, that this is her fault, and if she wouldn’t have been so fucking weak that night all of this would have never happened.

“You bastard… What do you what?!”

Nobunaga has positioned himself in front of her, sword in hand and ready to strike.

“Me? I am simply here to tell you how to save your friend”

So she was right and he his responsible. His usual act is back on, and she can’t help but wonder for the zillionth time what was it that night.

“You… Is that your fault?!”

“Maybe it is maybe it isn’t. That doesn’t change the fact I can take you to the chrysanthemum field”

“What’s the catch?”

Feitan’s voice is calm and cautious, yet deadly at the same time. Tonight might end in bloodshed.

“I will take one of you to the field, while the rest of you will return to the hideout and inform Chrollo that the cost of the flowers is a fight, against me”

He addresses all of them, but his eyes never leave hers, not even once.

“You have one day to decide who goes and inform the others, we shall meet here tomorrow at this hour. If you refuse altogether, Shizuku will die”


	11. Just You And Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get the opportunity to be alone, but is it still worth it?

They stare at the place Hisoka has been in until a second ago, letting his words sink in. What now? Do they make the decision themselves? Do they consult with Shalnark’s group? There’s no doubt Shalnark is probably the most fitted to go, however…

They all want to go.

Albeit for very different reasons, but still.

“So what do we do? The bastard basically blackmails us here, do we let him get away with that?!”

Phinks is shaking with anger, and Machi can’t blame him. But, this is possibly the best opportunity she’ll get to talk to Hisoka alone, and she’s not going to give up on it.

“We let him lead us to the field, and we kill him. Simple”

Leave it to Feitan to come up with the brutal way out.

“Shouldn’t we talk to the others before we decide, or at least tell Danchou? What do you think Machi?”

Machi considers Nobunaga’s question for a moment. He does have a point, but involving the others would just mean more people wanting to go, which in turn means her odds of going decrease drastically.

“I don’t think we should involve the others. Knowing him, there’s probably a reason as to why he chose to confront just us instead of telling everyone at the hideout, he wouldn’t bother tailing us otherwise. We should decide which of the four of us goes, get the flowers, heal Shizuku, and let Danchou take care of him”

She herself has a pretty good guess what his reason is, but she can’t tell them that now can she?

“You’re right. The question is, who goes?”

The second the words leave Feitan’s mouth, the atmosphere changes. They look at each other from the corner of their eyes, testing each other.

“I suggest coin tossing”

“We’re four people, Phinks”

“Then why not make it a tournament? Nobunaga vs Phinks and Feitan you’re against me, the winners will face each other, and the winner gets to go”

“Fine by me”

“Okay”

“Sounds good”

She didn’t expect them to agree so easily, but she’s not going to complain. She can’t beat neither Phinks nor Feitan in armwrestling, and if they were to have a Nen battle, she would probably lose to Feitan as well, not that she’d admit it out loud. Coin tossing is indeed the fairest option, being based around pure luck and all.

And so each pair tosses a coin. The winners are her and Nobunaga. Phinks and Feitan make a face, but we don’t press the issue.  
She tosses the coin in the air and it lands on her hand, she covers it with the other and says

“Heads”

“Machi”

“Huh?”

“Let me go”

“What?”

“I don’t want you to be alone with him”

Yeah, you’re a little too late on that one.

“I can handle myself, Nobunaga”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“You didn’t actually kick his ass that time did you?”

“Never had the time to. I got the Text from Franklin before I had the chance to meet with him”

That’s a terrible lie and she really hopes Nobunaga doesn’t catch onto it.

“Would you two stop whispering and get on with it?!”

Salty Phinks is salty, and that’s hilarious

Instead of answering she just removes her hand from coin. Her heart stops beating for a second before she looks down at the coin.

It’s heads.

She won.

And that means she gets to be alone with him for who knows how long.

“It’s heads, I win”

“Tch”

“Congrats. You gonna be okay though?”

Having Phinks worry about her is new, but not necessarily unwelcome.

“I’ll manage. Let’s get back to sleep now”

She says that, only to stay up for the rest of the night, too agitated to sleep.

She finally gets an opportunity to talk to him and hopefully understand what she hell she’s supposed to feel.

Talking him out of fighting Danchou is clearly not an option anymore, never was really. And in all honesty, she should probably be angrier with him for dragging Shizuku into this like that and using her as a hostage of some sort. Why did he resort to blackmail in the first place though? Is her first question out of many. for someone as straight forward as him to resort to a method like blackmailing is off putting to say the very least.

On another topic, she really needs to set her priorities straight. What she should do right now is get some sleep, and tomorrow to think what the best way to dispose of him is.

Instead, she tries to think of what the best way to present the topic would be. She can’t be too direct, otherwise he’ll think she’s desperate, but she needs answers.

Why is she even in this position right now? How a one night stand change her perspective like that?

She turns on her back and stares at the starlit sky, she used to do that a lot with Pakunoda.

Pakunoda.

Is this what she faced while confronting the Chain User? The dilemma of whether or nor to prioritize Chrollo’s life over the good of the Spider?

And what would happen if she’s wrong and Hisoka does beat Danchou, would it mean Paku has died for nothing?

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

This is so awkward.

Hisoka came 24 hour later and asked if they decided who goes. When she stepped forward, she could have sworn she saw his eyes turn three times their normal size. Maybe she was wrong after all and he didn’t want for them to be alone, if that’s the case then it confirms her suspicions that it was indeed all an act. But this would require him to feel guilty, and he can’t do that right?

She didn’t see it, but behind her back Nobunaga has given him a death glare, which Hisoka interpreted as a warning.

They walk in silence side by side, each of them too lost in their own thoughts, which pretty much revolve around the same subject.

It’s Hisoka who eventually breaks the silence.

“You know, I get the feeling Nobunaga isn’t too pleased with me”

“That’s his problem, and your fault”

“So you didn’t tell him?”

They both unintentionally hold their breath, as he just brought the subject on both of their minds.

“Why should I? It’s my life and he’s not my father. I think he is suspicious though, he knows I didn’t end up doing what I was supposed to do”

“Well, to your credit, you did punch me”

Thank god it’s nighttime, the last thing she needs is for him to see her red face.

“That was your fault though”

“You say things are ‘my fault’ a lot. Care to explain?”

“I already told you, you have a tendency to run your mouth too much”

“That doesn’t explain why you punched me”

“That wasn’t the question”

He’s not expecting an apology right?

“Where are we going anyway?”

Deja vu much?

“To the other side of the island, I have a boat waiting there”

“I meant in general”

“I can’t tell you that now can I?”

“Wait, How am I even allowed to see to location of the Zoldyck’s secret flower garden?”

“It’s not actually their’s, any passing stranger could stumble upon it, you and I are no different”

“Don’t group us together like that”

“Why not? Weren’t we part of the same group?”

“Were, past tense. Besides, you weren’t actually a member”

Actually, this whole plan is full of holes, blackmail is just the first out of many.

“Why are you doing all of this?”

“Why? You know why, so I could fight Chrollo”

“I know that. I meant why are you going to such lengths instead of just barging into our hideout and demand a fight?”

“I have my reasons”

“I know that, what are those reasons?”

“Think you know me that well already? After just one night?”

“I’ll punch you again”

“Be my guest”

She doesn’t actually punch him though. A silence falls over them again as they each process the information the other had given them.

The tension in the air, sexual or otherwise, is so thick you could cut it with a butterknife. 

Machi, with an even bigger pile of questions weighting on her headache, silently mulls over their conversation in her head. His motives are still no were in sight, but at least now she knows there is more than one. Whether that’s a good thing or not, only time will tell.

Hisoka, on the other hand, has plenty to think about. The first one is, the fact she wants to keep what happened between them a secret. Does this mean she’s embarrassed it happened, or is she just trying to keep them both in one piece? Probably the latter. That’s good news for him at least, since it means he gets to keep his head on long enough for him to fight Chrollo.

Next is Nobunaga, maybe the guy isn’t as stupid as he originally thought, but if he’s onto them then that’s a victory in it’s own right, since now the man knows which one of them as a bigger influence on her. 

Why does he feel the need to turn in into a competition in the first place? Who knows and who cares. Soon enough, he’s either going to be dead or she’ll hate his guts to the point of no return.

Which brings him to the last point, Machi herself. She didn’t seem as furious with him as her comrades were, which hopefully means she’s pretty shaken up as well, that’s good then.

He’s lucky his gamble seemed to pay off as well as he hoped it would and she seemed just as eager to be alone as he was. No matter how the battle with Chrollo turns out, this will probably be their last chance to talk like this, and they need to resolve the one night stand issue before their time runs out.

Why is he treating it as such an issue in the first place is another thing that needs to be resolved.

He studies her face from the corner of his eye, taking in the way the moonlight seems to make her eyes shine. The normally cold blue now seems softer, more forgiving than her usual harsh looks. Based on the distant look in her eyes, she seems too lost in thought to notice him staring, so he continues.

He should probably stop though, there is no point in wishing for the impossible, especially not now when he’s already way passed the point of no return.

This is going to be a very, very long trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, next chapter's gonna be the last.


	12. Your Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it's too late now, maybe it's not even real. But for now, she'll follow his lead and live in the moment.

They are on a train back from a job. It was an all nighter and they’re both tired as hell. Machi lazily leans her head on Pakunoda’s shoulder and Pakunoda’s head is on top of hers.

She’s about to fall asleep when she hear Pakunoda mumbles silently

“I love you, you know that right?”

Machi straightens up without warning, her head almost hitting Pakunoda’s jaw, and stares at her with awe. 

“That’s… The first time you said it”

“Yet it’s still one more time than you”

“I didn’t think I needed to tell you for you to know, besides, aren’t you supposed to say that and then have sex?”

“I guess you and I are special then”

“Sure, you, me, and every other horny fuck out there”

“Did you just call us horny fucks?”

Machi just kisses her. 

The kiss starts off slow, gentle even, and then slowly heats up and becomes more and more passionate. They break up for a second to breath. 

“What did I tell you?”

Instead of answering, Pakunoda starts trailing kisses down her neck, biting at the sensitive spot where her neck and shoulder meet.

“Paku…”

“What is it?”

“I love you”

Pakunoda just smiles and moves her bangs out of the way to gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

“You should grow your hair out”

“What for?”

“I don’t think I ever saw you with long hair, and I’m too tired to imagine it”

“I could say the same about you”

“True. But the difference is-“

Pakunoda gives her another chased kiss on the lips before continuing

“-that I at least brush my hair”

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

Light shakings wake her up and she can feel a warm hand on her shoulder. Still in dream land, she slowly opens her eyes expecting to see Pakunoda, only to see Hisoka’s unreadable eyes staring back at her.

“It’s just you…”

“Who else could it be?”

“Never mind”

She tries to get up, only to realize she can’t because he’s on top of her, arm on each side of her body.

“Get off. Why did you wake me up anyway?”

“You were crying in your sleep, so I thought I’d do you a favor and wake you up”

He deliberately leaves out the fact that he was watching her sleep when she started mumbling Pakunoda’s name and cry. He also leaves out that the reason she doesn’t have tears on her face right now is because he kissed them off of her cheeks. Why, he has no idea.

No, that’s not true. Ever since they left Zevil Island three days ago, they didn’t talk unless it was absolutely necessary, both of them too distracted by thoughts and feeling they never had to think or feel before, and it gave him time to think.

No matter how hard he tried to avoid the truth, he knew he couldn’t die peacefully if he’d left this one issue unresolved. And when you piece everything together, it’s not so hard to figure out what his subconscious already knew.

He cares about her. A lot. Perhaps a little too much even.

He doesn’t think he’s in love, there’s no point anymore, but he does care about her, more than he thought he could care about someone, ever.

It started out as a game for him, to see how long it takes him to break the ice queen, whether she was taken or not didn’t matter. Ironically enough, it was after Pakunoda’s death when he genuinely started worrying about her wellbeing. At first, he assumed it was because he thought broken toys aren’t fun to play with, and that’s exactly what she’d be without Pakunoda to lean on. 

But in reality, this wasn’t the case. Out of all the Troupe members, she was definitely the one he spent the most time with, and after a while of trying to break her walls, he actually got to know her a little. And other then the challenge she posed, he did find things he liked about her as a person. 

And that’s the keyword here, person.

He was so used to seeing strong people as nothing but toys, only seeing the potential in them. But wanting to have someone in your bed is different than beating strong opponents. If you want to succeed, you have to actually get to know the person, not just their power. Their likes, dislikes, what ticks them off, little things like those.

And she, aside from being pretty damn gorgeous, had a lot of little things about her that he liked. Her feistiness for example, or her sass, or the fact that she is actually a giant softie and how much she cares about the rest of the Spider. It was a strange experience for him, seeing all the layers humans have, all the visible ones anyway.

He’s not a person who falls in love, that much is obvious, he can’t even say he loves her. But the attraction is there, and it’s definitely not just physical.

“I’m going back to sleep, don’t wake me up again”

“What were you dreaming about?”

“None of your business”

It was worth a shot, at least, and it’s not like he didn’t know anyway, he just wanted to see if she’d admit it or not.

He lies on his back and stares at the starlit sky, maybe even for the last time. They should arrive to the port in the morning, there they’re supposed to get on the ship that would take them to their destination, and then it’s back to Yorknew and his fated battle. 

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

“You can’t be serious”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Why are we sneaking onto the ship instead of just boarding it like all the others?!”

“Because that’s the only ship that reaches our destination from this port. The real question should why you’re so worked up about it, it’s not like illegal trespassing is the worst thing you’ve ever done”

“I just think that’s dumb. What kind of ship is this anyway?”

“A merchant ship I believe”

She bites back her sarcastic remark about how observant he is and tires sinking as low as she can into the floor.

Ever since they started this stupid journey all she does is embarrass herself in front of him. It was easy enough to ignore him up until now, but after he woke her up last night she can’t seem to get her shit together. It’s bad enough she cried, even if it was in her sleep, but in front of him of all people is just inexcusable. Not to mention she was so pathetic he took pity on her and woke her up. 

It does make her wonder though. Does this mean he cares that much? If so, then isn’t it safe to assume everything up until now wasn’t an act? If that’s true then…

“When I say so, we storm out of here, and stay close to me”

“I can handle-“

“Yourself, I know, but still”

They’re at the bottom of the ship, hiding between the boxes. She gets the feeling there’s something he isn’t telling her and considers asking him about it, but decides against it due to lack of evidence other then intuition. Instead, she asks something that bugs her for a while now

“Why do you want to fight Danchou?”

“Because he’s strong. You know that already’

“That’s it?”

‘That’s it. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I want to try and understand you a little before it’s too late”

He looks at her in surprise. Knees pulled to her chest and chin resting on them, the distant look in her eyes is back. Instinct tells him to lean forward and kiss her again. He can feel his lips already buzzing with anticipation, he closes his eyes and leans towards her, only to snap them open when he hears voices.

“Shit”

He stands up and pulls her on her feet, grabbing her wrist and running towards the exit. They run up the stairs leading to the deck, pushing aside two very surprised crew members.

When they reach the deck, Machi can see an island in front of them, but that’s not what grabs her attention.

In the center of the island there’s a giant volcano, black and threatening against the trees.

“Is that… Kukuroo Mountain?”

“We’ll talk later, for now…”

Hisoka gestures with his head towards angry crew members.

“What do we do then?”

He smirks, grabbing her by the waist and pointing his free hand towards the closest tree. She can see a line of Bungee Gun stretching between his hand and the tree and before she knows it, they’re flying at breakneck speed towards the tree. In mere seconds, they already reached land.

“Where are we?”

“At the base of Kukuroo Mountain, just like you said”

Seriously?… Well, it does make sense for the field to be close to the Zoldyck residence, but wow… They were idiots.

“Let’s go”

They walk for about ten minutes before he speaks again

“Just up ahead”

And for some reason she starts running, crossing the last few meters between her and Shizuku’s cure.

And then she stops.

All around her there are yellow chrysanthemum, stretching as far as the eye can see, glowing in the sunlight.

She takes a deep breath, inhaling the intoxicating smell of the flowers around her. She’d be lying if she said this wasn’t one of the prettiest sights she has ever seen. Pakunoda would have loved it here.

Suddenly, she can feel strong arms wrapping themselves around her waist, hugging her front behind, and despite everything, she leans back into his touch.

“The Troupe sometimes does philanthropy work, right?”

“Yes”

“So would you-“

He whispers in her ear

“-grant a dying man’s wish and spend with me my final moments?”

She turns around in his arms to look at him, his eyes are as serious as she expected, but there’s something soft in them, almost tender.

“Depends on the payment”

“Would my heart be enough?”

“Didn’t you already sell it to the devil?”

He smiles. 

“Don’t forget, you promised me you’d hunt me down to the ends of the earth if I were you kill Chrollo”

“There’s no talking you out of it is there?”

He looks somewhat surprised.

“You want to talk me out of it?”

“preferably, yes”

He leans down and she rises on her tiptoes, arms around his neck.

She’s probably making a terrible mistake here. She already lost someone, she doesn’t want to go through it again.

Is she even in love with him? No. Does she love him? Maybe, kind of, sometimes. Because despite everything that’s happened, he still was part of the Spider for a while, part of her family. And in that short while, she got to know him a little, as part of her family.

Sure, he basically declared himself an enemy of this family later, but when it really counted, he offered comfort. And despite the selfishness in that comfort, there was also honest, genuine, concern. 

Her heart belongs to Pakunoda, that’s not going to change any time soon, but, she thinks as their lips meet, she can probably share it, just for a little bit.

After all, he is either going to die very soon, or make her hate him once and for all.

But maybe, just maybe, neither of these would happen, and neither him nor Danchou will die, this will complicate things in it’s own right, Nobunaga being the first thing that comes to mind, but she will deal with that when the time comes.

This could turn out to be the her biggest mistake or her greatest decision, only time will tell.

For now, however, she is going to follow his philosophy and live in the moment, and whatever awaits her, let it come.

And someday, maybe she will even fall in love with him, maybe someday, they could live happily ever after, despite in all.

And someday, she might even find her heaven, whether it will be here with him, or in hell with Pakunoda, there will always be a magical field of chrysanthemum for her to return to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it folks, hope you had fun reading the story as much as I had fun writing it! Would probably go and fix some mistakes I found.
> 
> Also to anyone interested, I should be starting a new story soon, so look out for that if you want.


End file.
